I have made the most delightful discovery: I am creative!
This realization has slowly dawned on me as my quest for perfectionism has waned in recent months. I always thought that a person had to meet a few requirements in order to be labeled “creative”:
1. Everyone had to agree that this was indeed a creative person
2. People want to pay money for the work of the creative person
3. The created material had to stand out above all the rest
In other words, writing non-fiction blog posts with 3 comments didn’t count, doodles and watercolors with Oliver didn’t count, crafty ideas that were sort of weird to begin with and didn’t turn out quite right in the end didn’t count, and someone who couldn’t make up a good song if her life depended on it certainly didn’t make the cut. (I can make up really bad songs on the spot, no problem: ask me sometime.)
So I felt destined to be an uncreative person, a left-brained redhead with a strong, clear voice but no song, a way of putting words together but no stories in her head. A girl with a nice camera, but no vision for the shot.
I never really liked listening to those people who just wanted to sing because they loved it; a lot of times the listening wasn’t particularly pleasant. I never wanted to be someone who did something for the sake of doing it, unless I was excellent. (This is why I don’t do very many different things, if you’ve ever wondered.)
But what if, I wonder– what if it’s okay to not be the best at something if I really just do enjoy working at it and improving? I think it’s a matter of humbling myself and saying– look: I know that my photographs aren’t the greatest. I know they could use a lot of work, and I could use many lessons in technique and technicalities, but I really enjoy capturing the details of ordinary life.
If I was willing to admit this, would that make me a real, live, creative person? A growing, creative, work-in-progress person? Could I be, dare I say, an…artist?
Maybe.
I have a painting friend. A photographing friend. A performing cousin. (“Come see the incredible performing Cousin!” Actually, no, it’s not like that– not like that at all, really.) They are all artists– real, recognized artists with talent. Perhaps I don’t belong in this category, but shouldn’t there be a space for the Aspiring?
I think that’s where I belong.
Aspiring Artist
Work-in-progress
Nothing for sale
Come sit and watch for free.
photos & drawings courtesy of my aspiring artist son.
6 comments
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January 6, 2010 at 11:51 pm
grace
I feel the same way! well, most recently. I can be creative! I can! I can! and i don’t have to be a talented musician like my husband or the kids coming through here. But I can make some yummy food. And I’m going to take my own liberty to call it art. And shoot, if I had a camera I would love photography. ^_^
January 8, 2010 at 12:06 am
Cassia
I can definitely relate as well Rachel. I know there are allot of “aspiring” among us
I heard so much of myself in your little check list for the creative individual ( the actual making and content of it, not the person ; ).
Such a tremendous part of creativity is having the boldness to try new ways of expressing yourself and not care too intensely about initial outcomes
Creativity can take allot of try and the perfectionists among us need to embrace the road to growth ; )
Thank you!
January 9, 2010 at 8:42 pm
steph
Your creativity has inspired me for quite some time now. You are just realizing this… duh
January 12, 2010 at 9:58 pm
Nina
Bravo!!!!! I understand your dilemma to a point…I only just in the last couple of years embraced calling myself an artist. I would never admit to it because you see, I dabble in too many things to be perfect in any one of them so being mediocre – It was just a hobby…I never take the time to truly hone in on being an artist because of all the other things I dabble in…Like singing…I sing – not lovely but mediocre. I play enough guitar to get by. I take photos with outstretched arm only to have zoomed in so close I only caught an ear – I can draw somewhat but I don’t much so I don’t practice so I’m not great at it. I paint but never took painting classes – I use paint I can afford so paint snobs look down at me for not using the #1 brand. I cheat – I went to school for graphic design which taught us to use a “lucy” a projector which would project a photo on to your page so you could get a basic outline of the photo then you use your “skills” to paint the details in. This type of training messes with your head. You look at how fast you can get something done – get the proportions of the head right etc. I think that is why I do abstracts. I look online and get inspired by all the lovely art but I am too lazy or too tired to sit down, pray and put paint down. I’ve written poetry but haven’t for about 4 years. Strange. I buy cool looking journals and start writing in them and mess up and rip out the page…I’ve got some with only a couple pages started 3-4 years abo…My handwriting stinks too.
Question: Do I concentrate on one of these things and get better and better or do I continue to flip flop in all the categories only to be mediocre?
Answer: I think I would be bored if I were perfect.
The Wreck this Journal really does help with the perfectionist aspect of a personality. In the realm of journaling – I can see it has already helped me. I can look at a page with a mistake and not rip it out. Now I just doodle over it! lol
January 12, 2010 at 10:02 pm
Nina
I guess I should read my comments before hitting the submit button. I guess I am mediocre about putting thoughts down in comment form in complete sentences…heehee
January 17, 2010 at 2:18 pm
Rachel
I love these comments. Thank you all for taking the time to share your thoughts with me. Thank you so very much.