Simplicity Soup

Simplicity Soup: So, are you the kind of person who has a list of everything she owns?

Rachel: Yes, I am that kind of person. However, the “Everything We Own” list is not so detailed that “list of everything we own” is actually on it. I have always been a list maker. It’s in my blood. My granny makes lists too. I think it’s a form of therapy for me. Helps me go to sleep at night.

SS: Where have you been lately? It’s been a while since we heard anything from you.

R: Well, I…hold on. Oliver’s walking through the living room with a baby bathtub on his head. [Rachel leaves the room for approximately twenty minutes, returns with a different shirt on, a chewed up animal book in hand, and wet cheerios stuck to the seat of her pants.] I’m terribly sorry; what were we saying?

SS: I think we’ve sufficiently answered the last question. Have you been able to read much with a toddler around? [Rachel pulls a little black Moleskine journal from her purse and flips to the 2007 September and October section. This is her reading log. She tells me later that recommended books are written in the back, so she always knows what to look for when she’s at the library or bookstore.]

R: Aside from this animal book and The Little Red Caboose, my September and October reading lists have included

Shepherding a Child’s Heart (Tedd Tripp)
Garden Spells (Sarah Addison Allen)
Sex God (Rob Bell)
Grub (Anna Moore Lappe & Bryant Terry)
Revolution (George Barna)
The Last Sin Eater (Francine Rivers)
If You Want to Walk on Water, You’ve Got to Get Out of the Boat (John Ortberg)
Everybody’s Normal ‘Til You Get to Know Them (Also by Ortberg)
The Wabi-Sabi House (Robyn Lawrence)
Teaching Montessori in the Home: Pre-School Years (Elizabeth Hainstock)
Now You’re Speaking My Language (Gary Chapman)

SS: That’s a lot of books. Is this why your house is so dusty and you frequently throw together meals at the last minute?

R: Yes.

SS: I see. Well, your house isn’t really that dusty. When was the last time you cleaned?

R: It’s been a few weeks since it had a really good cleaning, and that was only because Sara came to visit.

SS: Sara? The Sara? Of Walk Slowly Live Wildly Live Lightly Tour fame?

R: The one and only. She and her husband and daughter came way out of their way to visit us at the end of September. We met about a year ago when I emailed her and said I thought we should be friends after reading her blog and her MDC posts.

SS: MDC?

R: Mothering Dot Commune. It’s message boards for Mothering Magazine. Anyway, I guess Sara and Matt and Bella wanted to spend some time doing some dork outreach ministry, so they spent a couple of nights in our driveway. Their visit was as exciting to me as Christmas was when I was a child. Exciting enough to make me put down my books and vacuum. You can read about their visit on her tour blog.

SS: How amazing that you two were actually able to meet after knowing each other through letters and emails for a year. Didn’t she nominate you for a Thinking Blogger award once?

R: Yes, she did, and I never acknowledged it and promptly dropped off the face of the blogging planet, which wasn’t very kind of me. It isn’t that I wasn’t honored. It’s just that I’m an unreliable type of person, you see. Speaking of being unreliable, some time ago, my friend Judy also asked me to post an acronym of my middle name on my blog—could I do that now?

SS: Of course. It’s your blog.

R: My middle name is Suzanne, and my acronym is about having a nursing body.

S:tretched out tshirts (All brown and black, so stains don’t show)
U:nderwear just doesn’t fit properly (Where did these hips come from?)
Z:ealously hating my nursing bra (Could they make it any less appealing?)
A:ppetite has waned to a standstill (I’m lighter than my driver’s license says)
N:othing fits me anymore (does anyone make jeans in a negative size?)
N:ot boasting (I know not everyone has this problem)
E:njoying anything? (Haven’t seen Aunt Flo for two years now.)

SS: Seems like nursing is kind of a drag. How much longer are you going to continue?

R: I know nursing benefits Oliver for the first two years, perhaps even beyond. I want to do that for him, even if it means a sacrifice on my part. I’ve struggled for much of the past 15 months with depression and crazy mood swings, but I’m combating that with lots of time in the Word and prayer and lots of essential fatty acids. I am looking forward to the time when he is weaned, but I’m also not looking forward to it. I don’t imagine he’ll want to spend much time on my lap anymore. I won’t miss him pulling my shirt down in public, or absent-mindedly squeezing my boob when I’m holding him and talking to people at church. Judy suggested just taking it one day at a time, which really has allowed me to nurse longer than I thought I could.

SS: How is Oliver doing?

R: Every day, he does something I never saw him do before. He eats with a fork now. He likes to mimic funny sounds. He “goes to sleep” on a blanket on the floor. He loves to be outside. Today we had a play date with my friend Stephanie and her daughter Aliza. He hugged Aliza and then smacked her on the head. We’re working on “be gentle” but it’s slow going. I’m always worried when we’re out in public that people are going to think he’s a misbehaving child and that he needs to be disciplined. It’s hard to constantly establish boundaries everywhere we go; he’s a very independent and enthusiastic boy. He reminds me of Pinocchio.

SS: What does God show you through your time with Oliver?

R: If God wants us to be like little children, I think He must not want us to be afraid. I’ve lived a lot of my life (and still do) in fear of certain things. Fear of disapproval, or appearing foolish, for instance. Oliver’s not afraid of anything. He’ll climb something even if he doesn’t know how he’s going to get back down. He’ll put things in his mouth even if he doesn’t know what they are. He trusts me to get him back down, he trusts me to sweep his mouth. I know God doesn’t want to be foolish with our lives, but I wonder sometimes if He’d almost rather we foolishly trusted Him and stepped out in sloppy love and faith (like Peter often seemed to do) instead of sitting primly in our chairs with our ankles crossed and our hands in our laps.

SS: That said, what’s next for you guys?

R: Maybe some sloppy love and faith and trust in God. I want to let go of my crumbling, frail self and grab hold of His robe with both hands. I like to think I’ve already done this, but I think it’s something I have to do every minute—it’s not a one-time decision, not with my unreliable self. I want to keep writing in this blog, despite the obstacles. We’ve chosen to disconnect the internet in our home because of the time I was spending online, so it’s hard to make time to write if I don’t know when I’m going to be able to post something. I get a comment [on the blog] every once in a while from someone who has read an old post and says it meant something to them though, so that’s enough for me to keep going. Chad is also very encouraging. Aside from Simplicity Soup, we’re not sure what’s coming up. God is gently pushing us in interesting ways, and we’re excited to follow His call. I’ll keep everyone posted.

SS: Yeah, right.

R: I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean. I will!