Simplicity Soup

Almost to Four

March 9, 2010 in Mothering, Oliver | 3 comments

Dear Oliver,

I think we made it through the winter, my friend. You and me, no naps, 12 hours a day, every day. It was not easy for either of us. I am sorry for my grumpies.

Thank you for your morning wakeup kisses and snuggles. Sometimes you aren’t so sweet in the morning. One day you sat on me and said, “You smell like boogers.” Then, when I said that was rude, “You smell like donkeys.”

It wasn’t funny at the time.

Right now you’re very into dancing. Hard core, body flailing, heart and soul dancing. Your favorites to dance to: The Four Seasons (Your father and I are sick sick sick of the Four Seasons), some of the songs from the Forrest Gump soundtrack, Ollabelle, and Bobby Darrin’s Splish Splash. One awful day, when I didn’t think I could take another minute of being stuck in the house (or, stuck in this life was more how I was feelin’ it), I decided to dance with you, and we danced all afternoon (or, for at least an hour). I did some hard core, body flailing, heart and soul dancing myself, because nobody was watching but you. And you never make fun of me. I think you might even be impressed by my moves.

Things got better after that.

One night when we were getting home late, and you were getting pretty sleepy, you said from your throne in the back seat, “Don’t brush my teeth; just throw me into bed.” So we did.

You asked where you were before you “got borned.” You asked if you were dead. I answered that I didn’t really know, but I had wondered about that before. (Where does a soul begin?) Later, you asked where babies come from. I told you, but you do not yet know how the daddy’s seed gets to the mama’s egg. I’m sure you will wonder about this soon. It’s springtime on the farm.

When you pray at mealtime, you thank God for everything on the table. For each foodstuff on your plate, each thing on daddy’s plate, each thing on mommy’s plate, the salt, mommy’s water, daddy’s water, amen. Amen.

You are so challenging to me. There are some days when I decide that being your mother is hands down the absolute worst job I’ve ever had. But it’s the best job for my spirit. Nothing else would help me grow like this.

It is not always bad. I’m just being honest, so one day if you have children of your own, you won’t feel ill-cut-out for the job if it’s not puppies and roses every day. Being a parent is hard. It’s mostly giving of self. As such, it’s a pretty good reminder of how our Heavenly Father relates to us. I think our relationship with him is probably mostly giving on his part too, if you know what I mean. But he takes joy in us and he loves us and his love never fails. I take joy in you, my sweet son. When you accidentally whack me in the nose with your hard head, when I’m helping you in the bathroom, when you’re whining about not being able to watch a movie or eat another snack (will you ever stop eating!?), and even when you tell me I smell like boogers…I take joy in you. Watching you reminds me that I am a work in progress too. I am excited to see the man you will become. For right now, we’re just almost to Four.

And as I say every night when I tuck you in…

I love you with all my heart, and always will, no matter what,

mama

I Have Toes: My Fives and Q&A

March 9, 2010 in Just Life, Rachel | 2 comments

My Fives. That’s what I like to call the newest addition to my wardrobe, my Vibram Five Fingers Sprints. I saw these beauties in Mother Earth News last winter, and I remembered the days of running barefoot through our yard as a child in the country, and, being the consumer I am, I wanted to buy some of that back, sans fear of tetanus.

I asked for them for Christmas, and my mom said, “Are you serious?” She didn’t get them for me.

So I ordered them myself, in the dead of winter, which was a dumb idea. I couldn’t even wear them inside– my floors were too cold and my toes went numb. But I am proud to announce that I’ve been able to wear them around the house this week and tonight is the second night I have worn them in public (last night to the grocery store and tonight to the library) and I like them very much.

Though whenever I step onto the pavement there is a little panic in my heart like I forgot to change out of my pajamas…being practically barefoot in public feels like I’m revealing my innermost self. But, God did make my feet this way. It’s time to stop hiding it and come clean about the fact that I have toes.

I haven’t run in them or done any of the athletic-looking things all the people on the website are doing. (No cliff diving in my bikini yet.) But I will, when the mud goes away. Or at least I might hop around a little, if nobody is watching.

Q: What does Chad think about them?

A: His are on the way, though he went with the KSOs. (Yes, we will have the same color, because we’re pretty cute like that. Seriously, have you ever met us? Adorable.)

Q: What’s the point?

A: God made our feet for walkin’. But people throw stuff on the ground, like glass bottles and razor blades and rusty nails, so it’s not a good idea to walk without foot protection. This is foot protection, minimalist style. I guess. Or, they’re kinda cool. There are other talks about this. I just like them. I’m not into arguing.

Q: God didn’t make our feet for pavement. Shouldn’t you wear cushy shoes?

A: I will see about this. Have to do some experimenting. I think they’re probably mostly for active-type things.

Q: But you aren’t active.

A: Thank you for pointing that out. (Who is asking these questions?) Chad-who-will-be-30-next-month and I-who-am-not-getting-younger-or-more-fit-by-sitting-on-my-bummer-and-reading- all-the-time have made it a priority to be more active. As in, you know, stretching, playing with Oliver, jumping on our mini-trampoline, climbing trees– that kind of stuff. We’ve even started doing Yoga!

Q: Yoga! You crazy hippy!

A: Don’t worry, I still love Jesus. So far, the biggest thing I’ve taken from my little 10-20 minute yoga-dvd-sessions is this: “26 is different than 16.” Which means, 26 isn’t Kansas anymore. Which means (how many times do I have to say this?), I’m out of shape.

Q: Can we be done with these questions now?

A: Peace out, sisters. Sitting in the library parking lot in the dark posting this is getting old and crampin’ my style. And my back.

PS Why the playful post? In case you didn’t notice, it’s March, hello! We made it, everybody! (Though, if you had consulted me last week, I wouldn’t have cared much if we made it or not. I was not in the most beautiful of spirits!)

Five Kinds of Letters

February 16, 2010 in Writing | 5 comments

Thank you to everyone who sent mail last year; I really do save them all!

Writing letters has always been a part of my life. I wrote thank you notes to my grandparents after Christmas and birthdays as a young girl, and through grade school I exchanged letters with my cousin Jill in which we always inquired after the state of each others’ “love life”. At the age of 14, I waited at the mailbox (okay, I actually watched for the mailman with binoculars) for sweet letters (with poems!) from my first boyfriend and replied to them in purple pen.

And now there are thick letters from dear friends who have moved away, getting-to-know-you notes from women I’ve met through this blog, notes of encouragement from sisters at church, and fantastic care packages (my heart, it stops, when there is a box in the mailbox for me!) from people who are simply amazingly good at putting them together.

Here are the five different types of letters/packages that I frequently send or receive:

The Thank You (Both Expected & Unexpected) can and should be sent after receiving a gift, spending an evening with another family, after a good talk with a friend who listens well, to your pastor for helping your family grow through his teaching, to your child’s Sunday School teacher for giving of themselves on your child’s behalf each week, to your spouse for choosing to love you/working hard every day/an amazing backrub/always driving…

The Quick Note can sometimes be more uplifting than the big fat letter (see below). A bit of encouragement, a question for the recipient to mull over, a bright or tidy picture clipped from a magazine, a reminder that you’re praying for a person or simply that God brought them to mind. This can be a good one for someone you don’t know very well…yet.

The Anonymous Post Card: Think caring or creative, not creepy. Even if the person you send it to can figure out who it’s from, it’s still fun to receive it and not be quite sure, and sending anonymous mail is a good way to practice doing kind things without receiving any acknowledgment. How about flipping open the phone book or church directory and sending something (scripture? a quote? a funny thought?) to someone you don’t even know?

The Big Fat Letter is one of my favorites to send and receive. This kind of correspondence takes a long time to read– maybe over an afternoon and over through some good parts again in the evening. When this letter is written (I always type mine…because it would take me forever to handwrite 2000+ words), it should be gone back over with a pen, with clarifications and notes inserted in the margins. There might be drawings and doodlings all around, and you should definitely decorate the envelope, extensively. It should be sent with at least two stamps. The downside to this letter is that it can be overwhelming to respond to– a person might feel as if she has to respond in kind. Assure the reader that this is not so, or you may never hear from them again.

And last but not least, the Care Package can be small or large, and can be loosely defined as “any correspondence sent with something else in addition to the letter itself.” Items in care packages I’ve sent and received (Or ideas I’ve had but haven’t carried out yet):

Tea
Chocolates
Books (Passed along, new, thrifted, for adults or children)
Handed Down Clothes (Are you tired of/downsizing an article of clothing? Maybe a girlfriend would enjoy it)
Free Samples (sometimes I receive free samples with body care products from Origins or Prairieland Herbs– those are nice to tuck into a package)
Pressed Leaves or flowers
A smooth pebble with a word or verse written on it
A pretty thrifted linen towel
A small bamboo spoon (I have 3 from Crate & Barrel last year and they are my #1 kitchen item– use them every single day. Similar to this.)
Locally made body care products

I want to be even more diligent at sending letters this year– so far I’ve mailed eleven. I want to respond to each letter I receive (many apologies to those three of you who wrote last year and have yet to hear from me…I feel badly about that) and I want to write to our sponsored Compassion child once a month. I challenge all of you to write a few more letters than you did last year. It doesn’t have to be anything profuse, or even profound…something simple is sure to be appreciated just as much.

And for a good idea of where to start, I’d recommend this

My favorite PENS (blue and black also)

My favorite novel comprised of correspondence (most excellent)

Some nice stationary (but scrap paper will do nicely too…be creative!)

Mail a letter today– it will mean a lot to the person who receives it. I promise. Off you go!

Down With the Superlatives!

February 16, 2010 in Rachel, Uncategorized | 1 comment

When I was growing up, I was always reminded that there is always someone better than me. (Better singer, better student, etc.) I think the purpose of this reminder was to keep me humble, but it might have backfired a bit, taking me to the “I’ll never be good enough” extreme and honing my perfectionist bent to a nice pointy point.

You all know I’m working on this perfectionist thing, and my next step in the process is this: I’ve decided to begin graciously receiving all the kind things people say about me.

Chad says I’m sooo beautiful and he can’t believe how blessed he is? Awesome!

Someone comments on my (super weird) hair? Great! Thanks!

I read in a letter that a person really appreciates my friendship? Super– I always wondered about that, and now I know!

For years I’ve always brushed compliments aside, knowing that I certainly wasn’t the sexiest wife, didn’t have the best hair, and wasn’t at the tippity-top of everybody’s most awesome friend list. Perfectionists strive for those superlatives– the best of the best. Good enough isn’t. Only the best is.

But here’s the problem I keep running into: I’m not perfect. I’m not. I know this now. (I always knew I wasn’t…yet– but I certainly thought I could be someday, if I kept trying and brushing those pesky nice compliments to the side.) But God made me, me. He made me perfect for my husband. He gave me some unique hair, that’s for sure, and he has presented me with some great opportunities to reach out and give of myself in friendship. Neat!

In the end, it only matters who I am before a holy God, and he should be the treasure of my heart, not the compliments of others. But part of respecting an honoring another person is trusting that they are being truthful when they say something kind. Refuting their opinion or sentiment is like handing it back to them and saying, “Uh, no thanks. I don’t value what you think or feel.” It’s kind of a jerk thing to do, really. So my apologies to those of you whose kindness I have returned like it was an ugly sweater with the tags still on…I’ll take it all back now, with humility, grace, gladness, and a genuine smile: “Thank you, very much. It means a lot to me.“

New Photos

February 8, 2010 in Uncategorized | 1 comment

A few fun new-old photos up at my Flickr page…some of my very favorites ever.

Also, important post down below…you must read it and leave a thoughtful comment. Okay? Okay.

Monday Morning Thoughts: Giving, Sharing, & Sacrifice

February 8, 2010 in Contemplation, Finances | 4 comments

“Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.” Hebrews 13:16

This morning while I was eating my breakfast rice and sitting in the comfy chair in my kitchen, I thought about the mothers around the world who have to split any available food up to their children each morning, knowing that none of them will be full when they are finished eating.

As I filled my bowl again, I thought about the children whose bowls would not be filled today, and I wondered why God is gracious to me in this way. Why does my family have more than enough? Why, though my son is growing right now and always “still hungry”, did God see fit to make sure we always have enough to continue feeding him?

The only reasons I can come up with is so that we can share what we have. So God can be glorified in our giving, and in their receiving. So my son can grow healthy and strong (in body and spirit) and help those who are weak. (This, I tell him, is the reason God gave him a strong body and mind: so he might help others.)

We give, but I always want to give more. Perhaps that is good. Maybe I would not want to come to the place where I feel we give enough. There is a question I have been mulling over– perhaps you can give me some godly insight: we have a mortgage–it is our only debt. We’d like to pay it off more quickly than the allotted time of the loan. We have a heart to give as well…but our discretionary income is such that we must choose– pay more on our loan (and therefore have more available to give sooner when the loan is paid off) or give more now, to the children who are hungry now, to the people who need care now?

What do you do? I know there is no one prescription for giving, paying off debts, or indulging in personal luxuries, and that it up to individual families to work out what God has for them, but I am sure there is godly wisdom to rule our financial decisions, and I know his Word has a lot to say on the subject.

I heard once that our offerings (financial) to the Lord should be sacrificial, consistent, and proportional. I often wonder about the sacrificial aspect and I am reminded of the widow’s two copper coins in Luke Chapter 21. Am I merely giving out of my abundance? Or am I giving sacrificially? Is it truly giving if it doesn’t cost me something?

I obviously have lots of questions in this area and have been praying about it over the last several weeks and have read the excellent (although sometimes bogged down in statistics) Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger, by Ronald J. Sider and the practical Living More With Less, by Doris Janzen Longacre. Rich Christians especially was convicting and has an excellent section on the Scriptural mandate for giving and caring for people in need.

How seriously do I rely on the Lord for my daily bread? How seriously do I take John at his word– do I believe that if I have the world’s goods and see my brother in need, and close my heart against him, God’s love does not abide in me? What am I willing to give up for the sake of my brothers and sisters? Why does my daily life look like everyone else’s around me, more or less? 1 John 3:13 says that I shouldn’t be surprised that the world hates me. Does the world hate me? I’m not sure if it has any reason to…is there much visibly different about the way I live and give and love? I don’t think my lifestyle is particularly convicting to anyone. (I am not saying that the purpose of our lifestyles should ever be to bring conviction to someone else– only the Holy Spirit can convict the hearts of people. Our intent should only be to walk in purity and humility before God alone. My question is, am I doing this? Or am I blindly following a “Christian” version of the world’s way of doing things?)

Just some Monday Morning Thoughts. What are your thoughts and own personal questions on the topic?

Snow Angel

February 2, 2010 in Just Life, Mothering, Oliver | 6 comments

Oliver made his first snow angel and didn’t know I was watching from the kitchen window.

When I came to the window, he was sitting in the snow, legs extended. He laid back in the snow, and started moving his legs like windshield wipers, side to side. I wanted to knock on the window to catch his attention and mouth the words your arms– don’t forget your arms, but I waited a moment and he remembered the arms on his own. The ten seconds I watched him there in the snow, waving his arms and legs in unison to make his snow angel are permanently etched on my heart.

When he finished, he sat up, then stood carefully, then hopped out of the snow angel he had made. He turned around and looked at it, and exclaimed, “Perfect!”

–
Bang bang bang! On the cold metal door. Is anybody home? he shouts.

I go out to the breezeway, open the door halfway and stand just inside. He is holding a snow cake in his hand, grinning like he’s going to throw it at me (I think to myself– I’ll let him do it once, then we will have a serious talk about throwing snow at mommy), but then he takes a bite of it and stands there talking to me while eating his snow. I comment on his snow angel. He says he tried to make a snow man, but that didn’t work. So he made a snow angel instead. You want to come out and get the mail? He asks.

I’ll be there in a minute, I reply. I’m writing something down.

WE LOVE THE WINTER!

January 30, 2010 in Just Life | 1 comment

YEAH! Not really. Well, Oliver likes it. I let him play outside if the temp. is above 30 degrees. But other than that, we feel stuck inside, there is car poop in the garage (some people call them “clinkers”) and if I have to make cookies out of play-doh and pretend to eat them one more time…

Happy January 30th from us to you.

Who They Will Become

January 30, 2010 in Mothering | 5 comments

Here’s what I’m thinking. We all know mothering is about doing small things over and over again. If you do the same thing over and over, it becomes something great, something like a picture. Each action is a little part of the whole.

So what we do as mothers is a little part of the whole. I have said it before and will say it again: shaping the hearts and minds of children is the most important thing. These are the little things we do as mothers of young children: answering incessant questions, reading books over and over, brushing those little white teeth, wiping bottoms, picking up Legos, preparing breakfast, lunch, and supper every. single. day. and instilling the truth about the nature of the world and of things eternal. These small things–and the gentle or harsh way in which we do them– add up to who our children will become, and all the children all around add up to what our world will be like someday.

I have faith in this like I have faith in the coming of spring.

So I continue on. Sometimes I am gentle, and sometimes there is a harshness or careless attitude that makes me cringe when I look back. Sometimes I am Oliver’s mother with such joy and sense of purpose that I can hardly believe this most beautiful job was appointed to me, of all undeserving people. There is grace everywhere, for everyone.

How Did This Happen?

January 17, 2010 in Mothering | 2 comments

I knew it would happen, this growing up. I’m not remorseful though– being Oliver’s mother just keeps getting better and better. I am holding him all I can, reading to him all I can, and taking as many moments as I can to teach Oliver about the God we serve, who loves us and created us for his glory. I know someday he’ll be a “growm-up” and will lose track of his half birthdays, but I know I’ll always remember.